We are Turning Men into Big Fat Pussies! and it is NOT doing anybody any good!

It is not uncommon for me to hear clients, friends and myself commenting on what pussies guys are these days.  It seems to be a growing epidemic of men who are metro-sexual and basically females with cock and balls…only they don’t know how to use them.  I have been interested in this growing phenomenon for quite some time now, as I have gone through the spectrum of men who are complete cave men, to male versions of Betty Crocker.  Ask your mom and grandma if the latter type of men existed in their hay day and they will say “absolutely not, unless they were homosexual”.
As part of a growing number of women who are increasingly gaining in self-independence, but realizing that is not necessarily making them happy, I now realize and agree with some relationship experts who argue that we are fucking things up by messing with the traditional male/female roles.  I am in no way suggesting that we women go back to barefoot with rollers attire, but I am suggesting we back off on the male energy a little bit.  New York City is among the worst for witnessing this phenomenon.  We are in the most masculine city there is.  There is always a rush, always a purpose and always a push and a drive.  The city is filled with skyscrapers that are basically erect penises protruding from the earth and into the smoggy sky.  Everyone acts in an abrupt and hectic manner and action (sometimes pushing and shoving) must be taken in order to survive.  This is masculine energy.  We need soft, nurturing women who “coo” and say hello to passer-byes and splash in the water while giggling, in order to even out some of this masculinity.  Instead, we have women who are operating full-speed in their masculine energy, running around like chickens with their heads cut off, shouting demands and orders to their coworkers and then coming home at night and continuing to do the same to the men in their lives.  In addition, many women have totally cut themselves off from their nurturing sides and are hiring nannies and dog walkers to do this for them.  **Often, the mothers don’t even know what their kid’s favorite color is, but they will make up for this by storming into the teacher’s classroom and threatening to sue her for having her child sit in the back row and therefore ‘isolate’ her (trust me, I know.  I have been a school teacher for 8 years).  Even the women who wear skirts and heels aren’t fooling anyone as they walk around with such seriousness and stern expressions on their faces that they might as well be wearing military uniforms because you are half expecting them to yell at you to do some push-ups for even looking at them…I don’t care how hot your legs look in those shoes..that energy is not sexy to men!

Furthermore, a lot of women are well aware that they don’t even need a man in their life.  This is the problem.  Form follows function and if you think that men don’t perceive the thoughts that are floating around in the feminine conscious, you are wrong.  Women these days literally don’t need a man and the men know it and it makes them feel worthless and dispensable.  Women can afford to live on their own, there are tons of vibrators on the market that do tricks that no man’s penis and/or tongue could do simultaneously, and if they wanted to have a baby, they could become among the trendies who adopt overseas or get knocked up from a turkey baster.  Women don’t need men to procreate or to survive.  In fact, many women report being happier without one more thing to take care of or deal with in their lives (a man).  This attitude is infiltrating into the minds of the men.  The men, on some level, even if it is not conscious, are aware of this and acting on it.  The world persists on polarities.  So, if the women are going to take on the masculine, the men must take on the feminine.  There is no place for them and their energy and they have basically had their balls cut off by our swords of liberalism.  It is quite sad to witness this.  I see men everywhere deferring to the women to make decisions, take action, and to put together some simple IKEA furniture.  A lot of men wont even ask women out because they are so terrified of rejection. This is what we are breeding. We must be careful what we wish for. As I said, form follows function. If we are wanting to be treated like the men, we will turn into men and our men will turn into a bunch of pussies. If we want something that will suck up dirt, we will buy a vacuum, not a blender.  So ladies, do we want someone who will serve and protect us, stand by us and contribute to our lives, or do we want a pussy? If you really think about it, I think you will agree that you could breath more easily with the first one, and if so, we must change our thoughts and attitudes, so that men can come back to being the beautiful and wonderful martians they were meant to be, serve their natural born functions, and come into to that sexy, manly form.  In next month’s article, I will be giving tips on how to do just that, so please check back in! In the meantime, send loving energy to the men in your life and tell them one way in which you couldn’t live without them…our future and happiness depends on it!

**I am in no way, shape or form suggesting all women or moms are like this.  I know a lot of amazing women and moms who juggle motherhood and career beautifully, but it has been an observation of many.

Is Your Family Keeping You Single?

Could your relationship with your family be keeping you single?  I see a lot of clients who come to me with various ailments—among them is a broken heart, an over-protected heart, or an ever-elusive relationship.  Many people come to me sad and confused because while they are seemingly doing everything right, they can’t seem to find, or perhaps hold onto, Mr. or Ms. Right.  I’ve tried everything, they lament.  I’ve done law of attraction, eHarmony, blood-type matching, psychics, you name it, and I am still alone!
Some people experience a long drought or they simply never attract potential mates into their loves.  Others are able to meet people, but cannot seem to hold onto them.  Most of these people also typically have a magic (or a not-so-magic) number of months/years, after which, the relationship fails and disintegrates.  These debilitating patterns can often times be a product of family entanglements.  You see, we are born into family constellations, or groups.  We, on a soul level, want desperately to be included and accepted, often times, at a cost.  We have so much loyalty towards our family, that we would do anything to fit in and to not betray them…even if it means staying single.  Throughout the times that I have facilitated Family Constellation Therapy, I have seen these relationship patterns play out in a variety of ways.  See if you can identify a pattern that you might be holding onto:

1. Sally was in a seemingly good relationship, but got divorced at the age of 31.  Sally’s mom was divorced or abandoned by her husband at the age of 31.  (On a subconscious level, Sally would have felt guilty/disloyal if she stayed in that relationship, when her mom couldn’t be in one).
2. Tom had had many opportunities to be in a committed relationship, but whenever the time came for the next step, such as marriage (after 2 years), he bails (think George Clooney).  One day, his older brother finally settles down and gets married, and Tom marries the next girl he dates.  (On a subconscious level, Tom felt guilty because in the hierarchy of families, Tom’s older brother should get married first.  His love and loyalty towards his brother kept him feeling guilty and, consequently, single).
3. Mary’s mom never got married and was raped and abused by a man.  Out of love and loyalty towards mom, Mary always had a fear and mistrust of men, so much she was never able to date.
4. Bob’s dad was an alcoholic and was never around.  Bob had no choice but to become the man of the house.  He energetically takes on the role of the husband, because subconsciously, he thinks he can provide more and do a better job for mom, than dad could.  Growing up, Bob has troubles keeping women around.  There is no space for a woman.  Bob already has a “wife” which is his mom.  Once he gives up that role and becomes his mom’s child again, Bob finds himself in successful relationships.
5. Karen’s dad dated “the love of his life” and things didn’t work out.  Afterwards, he married Karen’s mom and had children (Karen being the first born). The father never got over his lost love and projected her qualities and their relationship onto Karen.  Both Karen and her father unconsciously placed her in the role of “the love that got away”.  Karen, like Bob above, had no room for another man in her life.  In addition, Karen is also predisposed to having the love of her life slip away.

There are hundreds of other scenarios that can play out, in addition to the above mentioned.  We become so enmeshed and entangled in our parents’ and ancestors’’ drama (who do you think your parents got it from?) and so hell bent on making our parents happy and fitting in with them, that it is easy and understandable to see why and how these things happen.  The important thing is to recognize these patterns, and to do some healing around them.  On a soul level, our parents want us to be happy.  Ask them to give you the courage and blessings to live a joyous life with loving relationships (you can do this energetically).
For those of you thinking, Me? No Way!  I want nothing to do with my family.  I will NOT end up anything like them.  This is why I moved 3,000 miles away from them!, you are also very much at risk.  Remember, in Family Constellations, your soul wants to fit in, not be the black sheep, and the more you resist “what is”, the more your soul will subconsciously gravitate towards those patterns.  It is best to recognize and accept your family, in order to disentangle yourself from their fate.  Honor their fate, but know that it does not have to be yours.  Be free, love bird.  Go find your soul mate and feel your ancestry cheering you on as you have had to the courage to break the family cycle and have a successful and loving relationship.   

It’s Raining Money, Hallelujah!

How to let your ancestry make you abundant…not broke!   

Recently, we transitioned from the hot summer, to the crisp fall.  Fall is the time of the year when squirrels gather nuts for the long and dark winter. It is also a good time for us humans to gather and store up some money before the upcoming holiday gift frenzy and a must-need Caribbean getaway to escape the bitter cold.
However, saving and storing money is easier said than done.  Money is energy.  And just like love, success and all of the other ‘sweet stuff’ in life that we are supposed to want and be able to bring in, we have difficulties.  How many of you find yourself saying, “well, I want money, but I’m just not getting it!”.  Or, “I seem to attract money, but as soon as I get it, it goes away.”  Well, let me ask you strait out, “DO YOU REALLY WANT MONEY?”  On the surface, you are rolling your eyes and saying “DUH”.  However, if deep down, you really felt comfortable with it, you would have it.  Believe me, when I started going over my money story and embedded beliefs, I felt like there is no way I wouldn’t want more of that green paper.  However, the deeper I began to dig, I realized that I really wasn’t on par with receiving it.  Having led many Family Constellation Therapy sessions (a powerful healing modality where we release entanglements from our ancestors), I have seen how many times we say, “show me the money” and often times, we can’t accept or attract it.  In a nut shell, we may be enmeshed in the fate of our ancestry.  Many times, we follow them, which looks to us like self-sabotage.  There is a lot to uncover with this issue, but the first thing you can do is to bring the patterns. Ask yourself the following questions and journal the answers.  I am positive you will notice some similarities between the fam and your current money situation:

1) What is my mom’s money story/history/belief?
2) What is my dad’s money story/history/belief?
3) Were any of my relatives/ancestry involved in loosing a huge amount of money?
4) Did any of my relatives/ancestry live in poverty, get their possessions taken away from them, etc (ie. the Jews in World War II, etc).
5) Did any of my relatives/ancestry achieve a large sum of money or property through a ‘bad’ means (ie. slavery or coercion)?
6) What is the money situation of my friends around me?

Often times, when answering these questions, we uncover hidden beliefs around money (ie. that it is evil, unattainable, etc.).  The most common thing I see when doing the therapy is that people have so much love and loyalty towards their family (siblings, parents, etc) that they don’t want to surpass them or ‘show them up’ by making more money than them.  They would feel like they were betraying the family, or that they aren’t ‘those’ types of people, so they play small.  More importantly, we humans fear being the black sheep.  Our family is our tribe and closely related to survival.  It is imperative that the soul fit in with the tribe for protection (like a gang), and the soul often fears that if they are different than their tribe (ie. they are making a butt load of money and the fam is scraping by on peanuts), that they will no longer ‘fit-in’ or be considered a part of the group.  No amount of money will give someone the security of having a solid position within the tribe or family.  If this is threatened, and being an outsider is a possible result, we see why it is so often a big risk to make a lot of money when it is not the family norm.  I also see the same phenomenon exists between friends.  Who wants a successful rich friend when the crew is commiserating around ramen noodles? This thought pattern can and does lead many to play it safe and make little or just enough money to get by on.
While these fears are certainly viable, it has also been in my experience that your ancestry and parents want the best for you.  They want you to be successful.  They learn and experience everything that they have to pass on to you to in turn, be better.  It is the call of nature to keep the lineage going and to hand over the tools in hopes that the next of kin will have a better future.  In fact, the ancestry feels frustrated if they have sacrificed a lot in their life (in some cases, their lives) and you have followed them into their fate instead of making your fate great.  Do yourself and your ancestry a favor today–do not let their hard work pass in vain.  Make your life great–in all areas of life.  Play big and make them proud.
For more help or clarity on these issues, feel free to contact me for a private or group session at natalieberthold@gmail.com.  In the meantime, please watch this silly video I created around attracting money and abundance.  This video includes a money ritual that you can do which focuses on having ‘fun’ with money instead of viewing it so seriously or as evil (usually an old belief from ancestry).  Enjoy and happy money making!  Wishing you a fall enriched with love, happiness and abundance in all areas of life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhegWeVu-yQ