Indian Summer Salvation: This, Too, Shall Pass

According to an ancient Sufi story, written in Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, there lived a despondent king in an ancient middle eastern land and time.  The King was distraught by his constant ebb and flow from happiness to being miserable.  The king, sick of this way of living, sought out an “enlightened one”.  He made the arduous journey to the mountains and eagerly asked the “enlightened one” for counsel, “I want to be like you.  Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity and wisdom into my life?  I will pay any price you ask.”
In return, the “enlightened one” promised the king something priceless.  He offered him a jade box with a ring inside.  The ring was inscribed, This, too, shall pass.
The king was furious and felt duped.  The “enlightened one” reassured him that whenever he was encountering anything, “good” or “bad”, the ring’s inscription would bring him peace.

The time upon us, Indian summer, embodies a rhythm of transition.  Life during this time is very much the same….a time of flux. Couple this with all of the planetary and energetic changes occurring in this universe at present, it can be daunting and leave you feeling you off kilter.  We are literally shifting from two seasons, the summer and fall.  This means a changeover from hot weather to cooler weather, different organs becoming vulnerable, and the transitioning out of summer clothes to fall clothes.  Often times, we feel uneasy about this…am I ready to give up my strappy flowy sundresses, or am I overzealous in putting on my knee-high brown leather boots? Am I excited to see the leaves change, or burdened by the raking and burning of the them? Am I ready for fires in the fireplace, or am I bummed at the waning of the natural fiery sun.

Being a teacher for 6 years full time prior to this work, September was a mix of emotions.  I couldn’t wait to see my little critter students and to be productive and to make a difference.  At the same time, my lazy summer days of sleeping in, doing yoga, and sitting by the Hudson were over.  However, transition and change are inevitable.  It is a guarantee in this life.  The planets are in constant movement, energy levels fluctuate, people come and go (especially in NYC), and seasons change.  Where “dis-ease” comes in, is when we resist these changes.and try to hold on too tightly.  Nature is always experiencing abundance and creativity because they do not resist these changes.  Whenever I start to feel anxiety coming forth of impending cold weather, and the impending doom, I turn to nature as my teacher.  I notice that the plants, animals, rocks and even most babies (suggesting this resistance is a learned behaviour!) offer no complaint to the seasonal changes, and as a result, they flourish year after year.  They simply “go with the flow” through life’s seasons, and embrace fully the present moment.
I challenge you to do the same this Indian summer.  Bring your awareness to something you may be resisting at this time
Personal example: I am a girl who loves to bask in the sun and ride my bike everywhere.  Even the thought of buying an unlimited Metro Card and putting my bike to rest, makes me uneasy.
Tell yourself: It is a time of surrender.  I  feel safe, secure and supported.  This is not permanent.
take on the “enlightened one’s” frame of mine of This, too, shall pass. I heart NYC transit! ( A little “fake it til you make it” cant hurt either!)

Here is some additional support that I am sure the Sufis wont object to so that we can feel anchored during this season, or during any times of flux.

1) Meditate and see yourself as a beautiful majestic tree of your choice, whose roots (feet and/or tailbone) are deep into mother earth’s core.  Feel wind come up against you, but that it (trouble in life) is no match for you.  Chant the mantra: I am deeply supported by mother earth and the universe
2) You are what you eat…so, what is healthy and deeply rooted?  Root vegetables!  Those Red and orange in color will help you to feel even more grounded: ie potatoes, yams, carrots, dark onions, etc.  Repeat Mantra from above
3) Hold a crystal in your hand as you meditate.  Ask the crystal to help guide you in these moments of metamorphosis.  Some good ones for this are Wulfenite (think of “wolf-at-nite” transitioning through his stages relative to the moon) and Lepidolite, named the “stone of transition” due to its healing properties for those going through life changes.
4) Use Flower Remedies.  Walnut flower essence is perfect for helping you in periods of time of uncertainty and evolution.  Simply take a couple drops under your tongue a few times a day, or place them on pulse points, acupuncture points, or chakras (root in this case). Repeat Mantra from above
5) Come receive some beautiful energy healing to ground, renew, and offer new direction.  Refer to my blog regularly for group and individual healing, and check out my Indian Summer energy series (http://blog.sproutinglove.com/)

Now, start these tips today, because next week, a new article will boot mine out, as This, too, shall pass.

Guru Gaga

Why is it these days that almost everyone I know is seeking a Guru? People inquiring “Who’s your Guru?” has gotten just as common place recently as those in Indiana asking “Hoosier (Who’s your) Daddy? (sorry, I’m from Indiana, and it’s an old joke). Is it so that someone else can tell us what to do and alleviate ourselves from responsibility until this darned life is over…unscathed until the next one?  Sure, the universe made humans to help other humans.  My very livelihood depends on people seeking me out for advice, being both a teacher and an energy worker and counselor.  Additionally, I  thank God for those with other talents that I don’t possess…Chefs, masseuses, people who don’t mind scraping dead skin off my feet, dentists, farmers, architects, garbage men,etc.  We all have valid and important skills to go around to help one another…but we shouldn’t seek out someone of a perceived different “status” of which to live under by his or her feet, and avoiding life.
Sure, every year I get my hug from Amma, feel all warm and snuggly inside, but then I go back to the real world.  This doesn’t mean I forget about her and live like a hellion until the following year.   It means I take her (the child-like innocence that she represents) as my one of many tools in the tool box, and apply them to LIFE.  I don’t want this article to be misperceived…we all have moments of breakdown and inquiry of life and we might need serious help.  I know many that have benefited greatly from spending a couple of weeks at an ashram to sort themselves out and to remove themselves from the everyday grind in order to re-prioritize!  Hello, I love Eat, Pray, Love just like the rest of you..and our beloved Julia Roberts.  However, it is the constant searching, living, grasping for a Guru that can be problematic.  It is the running away to an ashram or a cave for years so that you can escape earthly responsibilities, that is a problem..and under the guise of studying under a guru.
Furthermore, tragically, it is not healthy to worship someone who may or may not be who they represent. It seems that almost every beloved eastern guru, when moved out west, falls prey to scandal..emotional, financial, and/or sexual abuse…some even justify it as doing others a favor by “breaking down their egos”.  Many “guru’s” legitimize sexual abuse by calling it “Tantric Initiation” or “transferring their holy energy”.  The Course of Miracles states to never make an idol out of anyone.  This is how these things happen in the first place…a hierarchy is made and therefore an uneven distribution of power is created, and control and manipulation come easy…I truly believe that some of these guru’s don’t even know they are doing it because it is that effortless. We open ourselves up for this type of betrayal by giving them so much power.  The fact of the matter is, no true Guru would engage in abusive behaviour.  With true love, there are NO power struggles and no feelings of abandonment or wrongdoing…if you are truly “enlightened”.  The other fact is, Gurus are people too.  They make mistakes.  So, when we place all of our stock onto one individual, and they f&ck up, our world crumbles.
The purpose of this article is not Guru bashing, or Guru-worshiper bashing.   I have seen so many Gurus in this world who seem to be loving and amazing individuals, certainly worthy of looking up to and being used as a role model with which to live our lives.  These Gurus though, the true ones, do not seek out fame.  They do not seek to be worshiped.  This would actually make them uncomfortable.  They do, however, seek that you are living the best version of YOURSELF.  Not their version.  You are not living their life.  You are living a more “normal” life, and you need to apply their teachings out into the real world. To really honor your Guru, do not live your life in vein.  Make a life for yourself consisting of love and prosperity given the circumstances that you were individually given.
Lastly, I invite you to look for everyday gurus.  These are people in your local community (friends, lovers, bakers, barbers, etc) who are living a life of love that you can parallel….they do not have to be the type who wear white robes and you smear honey on their feet and chant their name in mala beads, but rather, they are ordinary peeps doing extraordinary things.  We are surrounded by real life gurus!  You are one as well! The real Guru is yourself.  We all have God inside of us…that is, that creative ability and energy that is all-powerful.  When we constantly seek the ‘law’ from outside of ourselves, we are denying our own power.  A Guru, by definition, is one who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority in certain areas…Please don’t forget that you are the most wise and authoritative when it comes to your own life.  Your innate internal wisdom is infinite.  The new acronym for Guru is “G-U-R-U” (  Gee, You Are You).  Congratulations.  You do have a Guru…and he/she is the most powerful and knowing of them all…Yourself.

Please enjoy this fun video for a short explanation and celebration of You being your own Guru!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU77_jDxaM8

The Plant is Your Role Model

Ahhhh, the spring.  Its essence of life is so palpable, you can taste it, smell it, see it, sense it, hear it.  Spring fills our senses with such richness as we relish in the flavor of earth and sweetness of fresh and juicy fruits and veggies, as we smell the fragrant flowers adorning the walkways, as we see and feel the first sprouts (love sprouts xo) of plant life so pure and pristine with its green skin soft and supple like the perfection of a newborn, and as we listen to the birds chirping their sweet song, a melody pure and true..
We, as beings of nature, can’t help to get swept up in the natural rhythm of spring as we too sprout upward and outward declaring to the world, “Here I am!  Check me out!” and move about expressing ourselves unabashedly and organically.  Along with exposing more skin, we tend to expose more of ourselves, our gifts, and our preferences to the world.  While this is a wonderful and much needed change, sometimes we don’t welcome our expansion and growth with open arms.  Change can stress us out and send us into a tailspin at times.  This is where we can learn from mother nature..
This spring, understand that we are supported by our fellow plant friends.  You see, plants are Imprinted with the mechanism of survival.  Plants have a  knowing that they shall easily and effortlessly receive and expend energy in a symbolic fashion in order to thrive in this world.  Furthermore, the plant is equipped with tools from its ancestors for adaptations in order to sustain itself in times of stress.  The plant can and will temporarily burst upward if in dire need of sunlight, and therefore sacrifice some parts of self for the parts that need sunlight.  When the desired need is met, the plant will retreat back to normal stature and size and restore peace and harmony in the system once the threat has passed.  The same is true if the plant is lacking water.  In fact, I doubt the plant ever uses such fear-based terminology as “lack”, but simply takes this opportunity to dip into its storehouse of reserves, rations out its water, and goes on living its life.  Its constant calmness and preparedness allow the plant to transcend normal pattern of ebb and flow, drought VS constant rain cloud, and to come though with grace and ease.  The plant, often times, exhibits such external beauty and poise throughout the process, still managing to take care of itself whilst not bringing others down with them.  There is no commiserating and no talk of the “Gloom and Doom”, but rather still existing with the gaol of living a good life and providing pleasure, smiles, and comfort to others.
This spring, I encourage you readers everyday to become more like the plant. Learn to take change in stride.  After all, the planet seems to be more and more unpredictable as the years pass, and their is no way of knowing what is in store for us (good and the “unfortunate”).  As long as we remain calm at the core, we can survive anything.  It is not what happens that counts, but how you react that counts.   At our origin, we are not so far away from plants.  We are all products of mother nature, celestial father, and of source, at our cellular level.  Unite once more with your true essence.  I encourage you, at least once daily, to do the following exercise.  This is not hard to do, even in NYC!  If you open your eyes, there is an abundance of trees and flowers ALL OVER Manhattan and its boroughs, so
1) Bring your attention to a living plant/tree/flower
2) Admire something about that plant (its strength, resilience, beauty, resourcefulness, softness, ability to make someone happy, enabling someone to breath easier, yummy smell, the ease it possesses to go with the flow and embrace change, etc.)
3) Admire the same quality or desired quality about yourself
4) Ask the plant and universal ancestors (mother nature and divine celestial father) to bless you and give you the courage to manifest more of this quality within yourself and around you
5) Witness your life blooming into a beautiful world!

Happy Spring Bella Life Readers!  For a short movie clip on how to practice the above exercise, click on the link below!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI1m0tSRhrg

It’s Time to Strip Down and Get Naked!

Authors note:  Hello readers, it is that time of the year again to get in shape…with your house!  I am a firm believer in the relationship between how the outside mirrors the inside and visa-versa. I hope this article helps you get back on track.  As an adjunct,  I did a whole 4-part de-cluttering series last spring here on Bella Life that I totally recommend that you check out or re-do again (articles 1-4 listed in order)  They are chock full of step-by step fun tips on how to create more space for grace! http://yourbellalife.com/healthy-living/go-from-crappy-to-happy-part-1/, http://yourbellalife.com/healthy-living/clothes-ter-phobic-happiness-challenge-2/, http://yourbellalife.com/healthy-living/bringing-sexy-back-challenge-3/, http://yourbellalife.com/healthy-living/space-with-grace-final-challenge/

Spring is the time your best self gets sprung forth and declares its unique existence and expression to the universe.  In keeping with the notion of law of attraction (like attracts like), it is natural, and advisable to want your outside appearances to match your inside appearances, and visa versa.  Winter is all about “behind the scenes” and under the surface growth.  We cannot see the maggots and other decomposers gnawing away at the roots of the trees underneath (thank goodness).  Likewise, we too cover up our surfaces by making cocoons and love burritos of ourselves as we wrap up in blankies and wear sleeping bags (my term for my full-body puffy coat), scarves, hats, gloves, muffs, leg warmers, etc. around any remaining orifice.  Good.  Fine.  You went with Nature’s rhythm.  However, spring is quite the contrary.  It is rebirth and when you came outta mom, guess what?  You were naked!  In all of your shiny and messy glory, you screamed at the top of your lungs, and made a loud-ass entrance.  It is time to do it again!  Get naked and make a loud-ass entrance, “Look at me.  I’m a HOOOTTTTIIIEEEE inside and out”!  What I mean by this is strip down those extra layers and show thy true self!  You are the beautiful little sapling breaking through the soil and showing off.  Now trust me, I am NOT about appearances for appearance sake, but I AM however a fan of the notion that “as within, so without”, meaning that your inside life and outside life are rather concurrent and it is something worth exploring further. Just as your sweet, green soft sapling skin is so pure, clean and beautiful, so should your surroundings and environment be as to maintain this untainted deliciousness.  So, I am not asking you to become a stripper (though that would be hot and I’ve seen your moves…you could make a MINT!) but instead to commit to clean house both inside and out.  In doing so, you are creating the opportunity to de-clutter your mind, body and soul, allowing that which really shines to show–uncrowded and unencumbered by junk.
Task: I am going to ask you to go through your home and get rid of at least 3 big bags worth of stuff (if you want specifics, refer to my past de-cluttering series–details below).  Enlist in the help of some buddies, or have them do the same chore at home and donate the bags together or gather for a stoop sale ( a yard or garage sale if you live in the burbs)!  Stoop sales are particularly popular in Brooklyn and people go gaga for everything!  I happen to have a stoop and do about 5 stoop sales a year, so let me know if you want to collaborate and “stoop it up”.  Be sure to set an intention for the money you make, whether it is to give the money to charity, or buy yourself a facial or colonics (two self-care activities that also coincide with spring de-cluttering–give your pores and your bung-hole the gift of being as clean as a whistle). As you set about doing the task of getting rid of your shabby drabbies, you will feed yourself some mantras and keep your eye on the prize:

1) Keep this quote in mind when you are struggling to forfeit that 15 year old hand bag , “One person’s junk is another person’s treasure.”
2) Blast a little Cyndi Lauper and sing to yourself as you trash those unflattering sweatpants with hair-dye stains, “I can see your true colors shining through.  I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show,  Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPn0KFlbqX8 (link to her kick-ass truly colorful video).
3) As you part with that torn blankie and binkie from babyhood, affirm that “I live in the now.  Now is the perfect time.”
4) While painstakingly bagging your Troll doll collection, tell yourself, “more space = more grace”.
5) When spackling the mice-chewed holes in your wall, declare “home improvement = self improvement.”

Once you’ve gathered your 3 or more (I expect more) bags of junk (I mean, your precious past possessions), I want you to do a little ritual with them.  As you stand before them, say “In parting with these physical attachments and possessions, I too part with other unhealthy attachments in my life that I’ve held onto for too long.”  If you want to get specific, (I recommend you do), follow that with “…namely my co-dependant relationship with my best-friend, my need to mother my mother, my obsession with wet puppy dog noses, my position of “lack”, my irrational fear of belly button lent, my desire to be a My Little Pony, my unwillingness to give up the camel-toe look…”.  You get the idea…these are all pretty common things, but feel free to tailor them to all your individual idiosyncrasies.  Whatever comes up for you, let it out.  Then, call on ascended master and Hindu goddess Lakshmi to help you Let Go (her specialty).  Finally, request that divine energy flows through you replacing any of those fears/attachments with love and light.
*Disclaimer, be near a bathroom, because sometimes clearing out the old sends you running towards the pot!  In addition, don’t be surprised inf you start going #2 more often in general, shed some pounds, and clear up your skin as these are all, in party, physical manifestations for holding on to something for way too long and with too tight a grip.
OK readers, start getting naked–delayer the house and strip down.  Please  post your experiences and feel free to enjoy this video for extra help and fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW4VenfRGYM

Missed Opportunities?

Is this the story of your life? Missed opportunities? (You have to click on “view images” to see what I am talking about–My boyfriend is wearing a shirt that says “My girlfriend climbed the Great Wall and All I got was this Lousy T-shirt).  I have just spent the entire summer traveling!  I basked in the sun in Cali, explored China’s ancient wisdom for 5 weeks, snorkeled my ass off in St. Croix and spent a week with my goddess girls (a group of particularly delicious friends) in Nantucket biking and yogaing around the island!  Now, I am back and I have once again observed the familiar phenomenon of being met with long faces and pained looks as folks around me lament, “I too wish that I could travel/live abroad, but I don’t have the time/money/balls to do so!”, to which I always reply, “there is never an ‘opportune’ time to ‘disrupt’ your routine, but there is always an opportune time to grow and expand the soul”.  For many, just like me, travel enables us to do this…to stretch and educate ourselves beyond staying where we normally reside.  You see, when you do new things, neurons expand in your brain, making new connections and adaptations!  We are entering upon the season of the Indian Summer which is the late flowering of activity before the slowdown (fall).  This short season lends itself perfectly to the getting of the ass in gear and jumping on an opportunity.  So, whether or not if it is traveling, getting healthy, or meeting a hottie, don’t let yourself miss any opportunities!  Perhaps you can start by taking advantage of my Indian Summer Intensive package or an upcoming workshop!
Lastly, I hope everyone survived Hurricane Irene with minimal damage and that they used it as an opportunity to be grateful.
Wishing everyone a happy Labor Day Weekend!
Much love,
Natalie xo   

Accept or Change–Only 2 Options!

Shit happens and will continue to happen.  That is life.  It is the way it has always been.  But, your reaction to the shit that happens can make it a minor dollop and not a major blowout with a change of underwear, clothing, residence, etc.  When you boil everything down, you only have one decision to make: Do I accept this, or change this? That’s as simple as it gets.  Often times people see things as an outside force that HAPPENS TO THEM, rather than things being a manifestation of the inside force of God, or our creative selves.  To me, I would rather believe in the latter, so that I feel self-empowered.  Once we wrap our brains around the idea that we create our lives, and when we get past the initial shock over it and the ensuing accountability and responsibility, it is actually quite liberating and exciting!

With each worry that comes along, ask yourself “Is there a way I can change this?”.  More often than not, there actually is a way you can change the situation. And remember, you can’t change others, you can only change yourself.  Then ask yourself, “Do I really want to change the situation.” You would be surprised at how many clients I have, that say “I want to rid myself of xyz”, but when we start digging, they are petrified to let go of xyz.  XYZ has become a huge part of their identity, their story, their sympathy and maybe the only way thus far that they’ve been able to receive attention and nurturing.  For some, it is how they stay connected and bonded to their friends or family.  There are many reasons for people holding on to negative patterns or dis-ease, but if it lasts longer than a year, it is purely emotional.  You see, the body has the innate and keen capability of regenerating and repairing…that is what it does best.  Within 11 months time, all of our cells are brand-spanking-new…fresh out of the cell generator…perfect and untainted!  It is our thoughts and belief system that taint them.  If we continue to believe, or want to believe that we are still sick, we will inform our cells of this, and they will act accordingly.  If you chose to deal with those deep emotions and trauma and move towards a place of peace, forgiveness, and acceptance, the cells can regenerate and move on. You can chose to inform your mind, and therefore your cells, otherwise.

Maybe, even realizing this, you would still like to stay in passive/victim mode where you prefer not to be the one “in charge”, “to blame”, to “celebrate”, etc.  That is all good and fine, but don’t curse God every time something goes wrong, unless you are curing your inner God or co-creator. You see, you are the boss, the creator, the God of your mind, body and soul.   If you decide to accept this “fate” and to free yourself from any responsibility, that is fine.  Just accept that the power was in your hands, and you chose to reject it and stay in a holding pattern for a while.  No judgement.  Accept that whatever it is that you are dealing with is still teaching you something, protecting you from something, and serving you in some way.  Then, I suggest you check back in with the issue after a month, 3 months, 6 months, and a year, and journal the same questions:

1) What are you still teaching me/ What am I still learning from you?
2) What are you still protecting me from?
3) Who are you connecting me to?
4) How else are you still serving me?
5) What part of myself/identity am I at risk of losing if you leave me?
6) Am I ready to let this go
7) Can I accept the consequences for my decision no matter what it is (commitment to get better, or commitment to stay in that place for a while longer).
When and if you are ready to let whatever dis-ease, ailment or nuance go, you will know when you are ready, and you will be prepared and excited to do so and to alter your role in the situation accordingly…Until then, accept that you have accepted the current conditions.
Other times, you need to accept something that can’t be changed, unless you take extreme measures such as operation.  Accept and honor that third nipple of yours, your unique bone structure, that your parents are in fact your parents (at least accept that you were created from them and share a lot of DNA and cellular memory), accept that you live on the planet at this time, and accept that the skin that you are in is the beautiful shade that it is.
Once again, when you decide to either accept or change a current situation, you can move on, for the time being.  I love the Serenity Prayer and share it with you.  When you are feeling stuck, ask for help from both the universal God, and your internal God, or creator.  Additionally, view this video I made, Poker Face, on making the best out of the conditions you’ve been dealt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFoRqJ9e2ZU

The Art of Being

This day in age, it seems that everyone, everywhere is running their tight and fit little asses off…particularly in the dynamic city of New York where professionals expect to smoosh a midwestern hour or more into a hot, power packed NY minute.  Sometimes this energy is contagious and others, it is just plain exhausting and a turn off.  A lot of my friends have a mindset that “If I’m not constantly doing something, then I am a worthless piece of shit.” or, “If I am not actively working on growing my business or making more money, I am a failure”.  Whoa nelly, where does this come from?!  In actuality, when we are just “being” instead of “doing” (we are called human beings, not human doings), we are being passively active…the best and most energy-preserving kind!  Now, I am a Capricorn, so I get it.  I am the mountain goat that climbs mountains (literally and figuratively) and I love saying I am going to do something, and accomplishing it.  However, even I, the mountain goat, get scared off buy some the NYC buzz.  We women are supposed to be receptive beings, and when we are in the go-go-go state, we are pretty damn masculine (not hot!  Ask your boyfriend!).  Grasping and running energy is actually very tangible and you can feel it.  Not many people want to date, marry, be friends with or work with a person who doesn’t even have time to breath.  When you are at ease with the work that you do and you are comfortable being in your own skin and being in your own presence, people will be drawn to you–no hijacking necessary.  Now, obviously there is a fine line between the mindset of “It will fall in my lap” and being at ease.  No doubt about it, sometimes we need to work for what we desire, but after that, we need to reap the benefits…not cover them up, discount them or not pay attention to them by working some more.  Most of us also need that rest time to balance and regroup just so our cells can regenerate.  I am convinced that a lot of people with cancer were constantly in a state of “do” instead of “be”.  When you are moving around quickly and hurriedly, your body mistakes it for a life-threatening situation.  So, imagine, your body is continuously in survival mode and your nervous system, adrenal system, respiratory system, hormonal system and every other system is highly stressed and battling a perceived threat all day long for days on end.  Cancer is when cells are dividing rapidly and abnormally…remember, form follows thought, so what do you think you are informing your body to do? At that rate, forget being of service to others.  At that point, you can not be a productive or effective business owner, mom, wife, anything!  If your true goal is to help others, help yourself first.  For a period of time each day, just practice being.  Maybe this includes a meditation, maybe it doesn’t.  If you are an active meditator (You have an agenda, protocol, ritual, etc), this does not count as being, because it is still active.  Just be a human being from the olden days.  If you can’t milk a cow, play with dogs.  Try a nap, a TV show, a tickle fest…anything that does not need to be checked off of a “to do list”.  Challenge yourself to actually hang out with yourself.  You know how they say that you know you found “the one” when you can sit there silently and it is not uncomfortable? The same is true for yourself, although so many peeps can’t do it!  Dude, YOU are THE ONE!  If you can’t be comfy in your own company, we’ve got a serious problem.  Try to go on a date solo (even if at home) and see if you can be with yourself.  Make a running list, and each day, add something about yourself that is really cool.  Call it: Duh, I am Awesome to BE Around or something like that. I guarantee that in this state, you will attract more clients, men, money, shoes or whatever it is you want to attract!  Alright Bella Beauties, On-the-go living is a recipe for burnout.  Take a step back and chill out.  Your body, your clients, children, co-workers and the universe will thank you for it.

Hey Love Sprouters,
I hope you are all gearing up for a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend!
Nobody deserves a day off more than my fellow New Yorkers! That is why I am writing you before the weekend…so you can get this juicy info,
then turn off your computer for 3 days and marinate in it like a nice
piece of tempeh (I am a vegetarian :)).
So, as my opening line says, it is not what you know, but what you don’t know that can get in the way or hurt you. I work with uber “aware” and “with-it” clients. My clients have done so much self-inquiry and self-awareness work, they probably know what undies they are wearing today (do you?) because they are so “in the moment”. All joking aside, I consider myself one of those women along with my clients…however, sometimes, no amount of self-help book reading, meditation, Louise Hay mantra work, Jerry Hick’s Law of Attraction work, and Shakti Gawain’s visualizations will do the trick. Don’t get me wrong…these authors and their messages are unbelievable and still continue to guide me today, but that is because I have gotten to the root of a lot of my issues. You see, we come here with some weeds and we can mow the lawn, but they will keep coming back…we gotta pull them out at the damn stubborn roots…the problem is, where the hell did the roots originate from? Often times, there are hidden familial and ancestral entanglements that are unknown to us, and so we become frustrated when our spiritual practice isn’t delivering
quite the bliss we had hoped. The yoga, the chants..all of it..they are
beautiful flowers ready and waiting to adorn your garden…so let’s get picking at those weeds.

The work I do that I am most passionate about is unveiling some of those truths and entanglements that are hidden, bringing them to light, and healing them so we can move forward. That is my focus this summer as so many of us become focused on the outside (how hot or not will I look in my bikini?). While this is super important, it all starts from the inside.  Please read below to take advantage of two very special opportunities to pull out those weeds so you can plant your paradise and show the world who you really are…outside of your ancestral entanglements. I have a very special offer available for only those on my newsletter, so take advantage before June 1, or you’ll be super bummed! Plus, both of these life-changing intensives only have a few seats left, so don’t miss out. I am looking to work with women who are ready to move past the surface, even if it is not pleasant, and be willing to endure the short term pain for long term gain, so that they can finally breathe deeply and with ease and confidence. I hope that woman is you!

What Your #1 Job is this Spring!

Energetically and numerologically, 2012 is the year for change. Couple that with the fact that Spring is here, and you get a recipe for the whirlwinds–but, this does not need to be the case. Spring is the season for reaping what you sowed.  With that, comes a lot of excitement, and also, what feels to be a big responsibility!  It it clear that we are being called to step it up in life–relationships, businesses, etc.  It can feel overwhelming to try to figure out where to start, who to involve, etc.  The important thing here for you to know is that actually, a lot of the work is already done.  You’ve spent the fall letting go and planting seeds (releasing and manifesting), the winter nourishing them, and now the spring is when it all blooms and comes to fruition.  So, the most important thing is to actually pick the crops–recognize what you’ve sown. So often, I get clients who aren’t seeing what they’ve created.  They have their blinders on, which prevents them from seeing past their limiting beliefs.  Some will say, “I’ve worked so hard, and haven’t gotten any results”.  One of two things is happening here.  a) You are trying to knock down the wrong door or b) you have gotten results, but you just can’t see or acknowledge them.  In Spring, people come out of the wood works and people often misinterpret this buzz and excitement for potential energy to do more work.  That is not the case.  Notice that the animals in the animal kingdom (squirrels, bears, etc) are actually doing the most work in the fall (gathering food, building warm shelter, etc), so that they can chill and hibernate during the winter, so that they can in turn celebrate and play during the spring.  We too work best and most efficiently when we are following nature’s natural rhythms.
Here are your only “jobs” in the springtime in order to make best use of this season:

1) Keep a daily running record of your accomplishments.  You can call it “My Awesome Accolades”.  With each one you write down, you should actually and literally give yourself a pat on the back.  As mentioned earlier, so often people don’t “see” what they are creating or doing.  Putting it on paper helps.  I can recall so many times where I couldn’t “see” where my bloated belly was coming from.  Upon recording for a week what I ate, I could finally “see” that it was the dark chocolate that I was eating between every meal…a little too much.  The same is true in this case.  We get so caught up in what is NEXT, that we don’t stop to smell the roses and recognize our accomplishments right now.  This sets us up for a cycle of failure, because our mindset is always in the quicksand…focused on how we are sinking and not doing enough, versus “hey, I’m kind of a bad-ass and have accomplished a lot of cool shit!”.  So, again, make a running list of all the cool shit you’ve accomplished.  My guess is that once you start, you wont be able to stop.  Every day that you write your new kudos down, you will gain confidence in your abilities, instead of doubt them.  If you want bonus points, share 1-2 props a day with family or friends.

2) Celebrate and have fun.  The universe does cartwheels when you do.  The universe frolics when you do.  The universe smiles when you do.  When you celebrate, the universe knows your grateful and sends you more stuff to recognize and celebrate.  Spring is the season of new life and birth.  Everyday in the Spring is a BIRTHDAY!  Doesn’t that deserve a little extra SPRING in your step? A little cupcake/candle action or a hat or blow horn? Spring is a CELEBRATION.  What an awesome job you have this season–to HAVE FUN!  I want you to sign a contract with spring.  Something like this:

Dear Spring,
I, __________, hearby accept your job offer of ‘to celebrate and have fun this season’.  I solemnly swear to be your #1 employee at all times.  I vow to have a shitload of fun, and to not half-ass that job.  I will not take shortcuts, come in late, or leave early.  I will not multi-task during this very important job of having fun, but instead, will be in the present moment during these tasks. The ways in which I will take the job seriously and have fun include, but are not limited to the following tasks: ______________, _________, ____________, ____________, _______________. (Fill in fun things you can commit to doing). I will make this commitment to you throughout the duration of my freelance work with you, including, but not limited to March 21, 2012-June 20, 2012.
I look forward to working with you very soon!

Date________
My Signature__________
Spring’s Signature___Spring___
Witness ____Universe_____

Print this out and hang it on your refrigerator or put it in your planner as a daily reminder of the commitment you’ve made.  Sow, baby sow!

Why the “C” Word Doesn’t Have to be so Scary!

Did you know that 2012 is numerologically and planetarily aligned for CHANGE!  Yup, change. That big C word that whether good or bad, reeks havoc on our lives.  We are creatures of habit.  Routine has kept us safe and secure, biologically speaking, for a long long time.  Upsetting the status quo can feel to us as if we are threatening our survival…that our LIVES are at RISK.  This is scary stuff!  That is why many of us get so frustrated when we pray, manifest, vision board it, chant it, etc that we want positive change, and it just ain’t happening.  It is actually sending you the message that in doing so, even if it is good change (ie. marriage, weight loss, more money, a growing business, etc) that you might not survive the change.  You have gotten super comfy and routinized along the way, and although it might not be optimal, you have made it work.  You are a functioning unchangeaholic.  Yes, this is a real dis-ease in the sense that you are addicted to a substance (stability) and can’t go without it.  Then, 2012 comes rushing in, and rocks your boat. I love the Mayans.  They are super innovative people.  Did you know that made significant advances in astrology, astronomy, math (discovered the 0), agriculture (nobody else could have survived in their ecosystem) and built pyramids and temples without metal tools and much more!   The talk of 2012 ending of the Mayan Calendar, I believe, is much more spiritual than literal.  There seems to be a shift in consciousness happening.  I see it everywhere.  When I’m on the subway, I see Eckhart Tolle, Louis Hay and many other “New Age” authors gracing the eyes of subway riders.  I did not see this 5-10 years ago.  I was the only yahoo reading about soul retrievals on my commute.  That being said, this new consciousness is sprouting up everywhere.  And, because we are all interconnected, when one individual becomes even a little bit more enlightened, it is a catalyst for another.  There is a huge game of dominoes going on. But, as I mentioned earlier, this isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.  Being called to action, awareness and to become more enlightened is not easy.  It is scary.  Often times, ignorance is bliss.  However, this movement is also so sweeping and so enticing, how can you not want to be a part of it?  The key is balance.  What usually ends up happening when change is to be made (whether purposefully or not) is that we swing wildly in the opposite direction like a wild banshee.  You know, “I want to loose weight, so I am going to cut out all carbs, sugar and anything that resembles food”.  Then, as we are pendulums, we swing just as wildly in the other direction (becoming a ravenous beast) and then finally settling somewhere in the middle.  Why not implement your changes more slowly and surely? Remember, in your brain, your life is at risk here.  You will not stick to change, or go willingly, if it happens too quickly.  You are hard-wired to equate this to death.  Move with purpose, grace, and ease.  Take baby steps.
Another tip is to “experiment” with everything.  A big part of being resistant to change is fearing the permanency of it all.  That is not usually the case.  Very few things are actually permanent….besides death, which is why perhaps this is all so intertwined with the fear of moving forward and the association with perishing forever.  Remember when we were in school? We so unabashedly threw some things together in a test tube without attachment, and a strong anticipation as to see what would happen.  When I make decisions or changes in life now that are registering as a little “scary” for me, I always tell myself, and my clients who I work with in these situations, that just tell yourself it is a little experiment.  That word tends to shift the perspective from, “I am about to make a monumental decision that may result in death” to “Ohhhh, this could be fun…can’t wait to see what happens.  If it doesn’t work out, I’ll mix up some other concoction and try that one”.
So, Bellas, the next time you are being to called to change, to be a part of this movement forward in consciousness, take it easy.  First of all, recognize that of course, change is scary.  Thank your body for doing what it is supposed to do by causing anxiety.  It is protecting you from what it perceives as a threat.  Tell your nervous system, “Thanks so much for doing your job and looking out for me.  I honor you for that.  I have decided to make this change.  I will do it slowly and surely so that I am not jeopardizing anyone or anything.  I am just going to experiment with some things…no harm done.  It will be fun.  I release you from the roll of protector in this instance, and ask you to now become a witness (Can I get a witness, whoot whoot!) to this change.  Help me to regulate the speed at which this change is made so that it can happen gracefully and effectively.  Won’t you be my co-scientist and help me implement some cool experiments and to test them out?  We are safe.  Change can be good.  Change can actually prolong life.  All is well.”
Happy Changing, my dear Bellas.  Thank you for being brave enough to embrace change and become the best version of yourself…the planet (and your co-workers) thanks you for it!
xoxo

Pull out that Inner Damsel! Let him open the damn jar!

Hello Beautiful Readers.  In last month’s article, I audaciously suggested that we are turning the men in our lives into big fat pussies and then bitching about it! (In case you missed it, go back and read it here: ) I still stand by that claim, but not to worry, there is something we can do about it!  Men, by nature, don’t want to be pussies, they want to be heroes!  The best thing we can do for their self-esteem, and our own, is to let them be our heroes.  Granted, this takes some patience, practice and trust, but once it is down, you will never go back.  Following these few simple tips could allow the love to flow again, create more intimacy between you and your man, and hopefully, in turn, amp up your sex life!  Remember, sexual attraction is directly correlated from high levels of polarity or differences (regarding energy).  So, the more you are in your feminine (receiving) and the more your man is in his masculine (providing), the more vavaVOOMing!

You see, believe it or not,  a man, by nature, has a strong desire to serve and protect us.  If there is no need to serve and protect us, that their existence serves no purpose…and listen to me, they WILL gravitate towards one of those helpless chicks that you can’t stand.  You will be left there scratching your ass wondering what went wrong.  I hate to say it, but you weren’t helpless enough.  I have noticed this phenomenon plenty of times.  Trust me, I was in a 5 year dry spell.  I was so freakin’ independent that I didn’t have the space/trust/insight/feminine energy to let men do things for me.  During this 5 years of single-hood, I had to be in my masculine and feminine in order to survive.  Who else was going to lug the laundry to the laundry mat, take out the garbage, change the light bulbs, change my flat tire, and build the IKEA furniture? I got so used to depending on myself that it felt foreign, and even rude, to depend on others.  Why would I want to burden someone else if I can do it myself? What I didn’t realize is that I was burdening the man by NOT letting him do things for me.  They all lost interest and I would come to find out, time and time again, that they ended up with the very chicks they said they didn’t want (needy, co-dependant, helpless gold-diggers who are high maintennance and wouldn’t be caught dead without heals and makeup and thought dogs and nature were gross).  It seemed very confusing, but now it makes perfect sense.  I remember having a light-bulb moment regarding this.  I was dating a man who was visiting from Canada and he was such a gentleman.  I was so used to being a bag lady (you know how it is in NYC..you carry some gym clothes, books, calendars, lunch, shower stuff for after the gym, laptop, etc on your 16 hour day) and thought nothing of it.  Everywhere we went, this gentleman insisted on carrying my bags (I put up a fight, but he put up a bigger fight).  I remember giving in and handing him over some of my crap.  Instantaneously, it was like a load was lifted off my shoulders…literally and figuratively.  It was right then that I realized that we were not meant to live alone.  We are meant to live in teams or packs and share the load.  Once I got passed my fear and guilt, it was so easy to let him help me out, and furthermore, I looked over at him grinning from ear to ear.  He loved helping me and I loved letting him–what a cool concept!  In speaking with many clients, I have since encouraged them to give in a little to receiving help from their men and they too have had light bulb moments.  One girl remembers, “hmmm, the time when Colin was the best boyfriend ever, is the time I lost my purse and I was upset and crying.  He rallied and did whatever it took to get it back to me.” I hear similar stories all the time…Men need to feel useful, or else they will seek it out somewhere else.  I am not advocating that you become a helpless, hopeless nymph incapable of the smallest task, but I am suggesting you pull out your inner damsel.

How to tap into Inner Damsel in Distress?
1)Make a list of all the tasks that you do that could be traditionally seen as masculine (ie. take out the garbage,   solve all of your problems, beat people up (hopefully not), pay the bills, move and build furniture, hang pictures, change light bulbs, fix the computer, etc.
2) Acknowledge that you are more than capable of doing all of these things and damn well (quite possibly better than the men), and that this is not an activity on sexism or abilities. Tell yourself, this is an activity on teamwork, relationship building, and receiving help (being in your feminine energy).
3) Pick out a couple of things you could stand to not do…even if it is to stop opening jars.
4) Hand those things over to your man.  They respond to short quick requests (it takes them a while to filter through the fluffy bullshit) using words like ‘please’, ‘need’, ‘help’ ‘sexy’, ‘hot’ and ‘hero’.
For example- “Justin, I need your help.  Can you please pull down that heavy suitcase for me?”.  Then, while they are doing it, you say, “oh, you are so hot/sexy/strong/manly when you do that”.  Then, an action is nice too such as pinching/spanking the butt and/or feeling his biceps.  Follow up with a “thank you, you are my hero”.
5) Feel good, watch your man feel good.
6) repeat and reap the benefits of having a more balanced relationship!

I also strongly suggest this for women who aren’t in relationships and want to manifest one.  Remember, if you are too in your masculine, there is no room to attract a guy…unless he is a pussy and wants to be manhandled (yuck!).  So, when I lived with 6 strong-minded, independent girls, we all got used to being in this space.  We began to hire a “rent a hubby” which is a handyman that comes by and does stuff for you.  We also started asking our landlord and doormen to do more things for us.  Let me tell you, at first I thought we would burden them, but those dudes LOVED coming by to help six ladies!  Trust me…it was a win-win situation where we made each others’ days.  Shortly thereafter, after I begin to receive help from a man, I met the man I am currently and happily involved with…and I let him help me everyday!  I still struggle with wanting to do everything on my own, but the benefits of giving in far outweigh the inclination to be a task hog.  Start today with pulling out the inner damsel and letting the men in your life rise up to be the hero–everyone will be happier!