I have been doing a lot of examining of my family patterns since baby Stella was born (and obviously way before her as well), especially since my parents have visited the last few days. Check out these cute pics of them below:
My labor and delivery has been visiting me every day in very vivid snippets and I have been reflecting a lot on it.
I have always had this belief of ‘No pain, no gain’ and that you don’t deserve something unless you earn it. I still believe this last one to a large extent…I do think people are too expectant that things will just land in their lap without the willingness to work for it…however, it doesn’t necessarily have to come with suffering.
I had a 4 day labor, finally ending in an emergency c-section and did not take pain meds during or after the process. It was a painful and laborious process (literally) and it has been on my mind a lot lately and I have been thinking about how my next pregnancy (if that is in my fate) will be different. One of the things I realized I would do differently is to change my mindset around pain and labor. Even in my business, I don’t like the idea of things moving too quickly or being too easy because I don’t want it to cheapen my experience of earning the changes (financially and otherwise) that come my way.
With my apartments in NYC, I have always gotten a nicer apt each time, but slowly and surely. I am a capricorn and as a mountain goat, I like to sure-footedly move forward.
I know exactly where that comes from in my family system and can see where I follow my parents in that way. My parents believe in pain and things being hard. My grandparents and great-grandparents, etc. etc believed the same. I, like most of you, had family in war, the great depression, tough immigration, etc.
Would I not still have earned my baby if I had a 2-hour delivery with pain aids? And a baby that didn’t have to go to the NICU?
I have been working on these beliefs of ‘No Pain, no gain’ and will continue to for some time.
Do you have a similar pattern? Where does it come from? Where does it show up? Relationships? Money? Career? Health?
I’d love for you to re-examine some of these beliefs! Maybe, just maybe, things can come easy next time!
Lots of love,
Natalie
