Masking the Truth
At the end of this month, the playful Halloween is upon us. This day is loved by many, as the allure of this autumn holiday is the ability and, more importantly, the expectancy, that one is able to change their identity…even if just for a night. After all, it’s fun to change it up a little..playing through your fantasies of being a super hero or a celebrity. Other times, we dress up as things we would never (at least most of us) want to be in real life, such as monsters, aliens, maids, clowns, and yucky stuff like toilets. Though the occasional mask and costume is fun and acceptable, what about those of us who are wearing a mask year-round, or always desiring to be someone else? What if we are always disguising the truth? This rejection of the self can lead to long term chronic illness such as fibromyalgia, fibroid tumors, or other disease such as cancer. There is nothing worse than self-rejection and the masking of the truth, for your body and soul’s health.
Lately, I have been noticing an increasing number of women who have been coming to me with second chakra issues such as fibroids and tumors or endometriosis. Most female issues, including period cramps and PMS, come from some sort of rejection of the female self–body, sexuality, creativity, curves, being treated as a gender “second best”, situations of rape or other sexual violation or control, etc . Often times, even though those thoughts are detrimental to the women’s worth and self-esteem, it is not entirely the self-rejection that does her in..it is the veneer as well. All of my clients with this disorder come from a family that wears masks. In wearing a “mask”, I am talking about families who regularly say things like, “What will the neighbors think?”, and who also seem to rationalize like deer–that is, if I can’t see it/him/situation, it doesn’t exist. This type of behavior, denial, concealment, cover-up, and disguisement is very harmful for the self, and family systems alike and can lead to serious conditions. Lack of self acceptance, mixed with having nobody to talk through those (and other) feelings can cause fibroids and tumours in the uterus, along with other dis-ease.
In an ideal world, we are free of negative and egoic thought…but, we are humans and in order to learn, sometimes we face adversity. Often, we infiltrate our precious brains with filthy and untrue thoughts about ourselves that would lead to a mouth washing with soap if anyone else could get in on our secret self-inflicted insults. As if that isn’t bad enough, we must have a release. After thinking those groundless thoughts, it would be optimal if someone very gentle and warm and squishy (think the British Nanny on that TV program Super Nanny) rushes to our side at every infraction and talks us through it. “Hello Darling, what nonsense have you told yourself. Princess, wherever did you get such an idea. Talk to me, precious one. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, but what can I do to help you see it as well and work through these false illusions all around you?”
Since real-life rarely plays out as such a lovely scenario, we are often left to our own devices…a wounded perception and a lack of self love. The feelings, the sadness, the pain, the heartache all forms a big ball of coagulated energy, and plops itself in the uterus (or other places) because it feels as if it has no other place to go and be released. One client experienced puberty very early on, having developed boobies and starting her period before the other girls and felt ashamed and confused. That topic, and most others, was “hush hush” growing up in a Baptist family heavily involved in the church. She now has been suffering from fibroids for the past 10 years. Another women also grew up in a highly religious family where, despite family sadness and trauma, (attempted and successful suicide attempts from family members) was instructed to make up stories so that the neighbors would not look poorly on them. After absorbing so much pain, mixed with her own lack of self-love and acceptance as a beautiful young lady, this girl went on to become a woman with terrible endometriosis and fibroid pain. Another female client, who also grew up being taught that sexuality is bad, but not being able to refute or challenge that belief, developed tumors in her fibroid which, sadly, resulted in a full-blown hysterectomy.
Note that I am not specifically saying that this is causation…it is simply correlation and an observation..and observation and a pattern that I believe has strong merit..not only for women’s issues, but a plethora of other dis-eases. Basically, self rejection and denial is poison to the body. Additionally, not having an outlet for that poison (via talking, and additionally, exercise, yoga, raw foods, dancing, music, etc), continues to toxify the body to the point of no return. The level of the poison becomes so high, that it has no other choice but to either form into balls (tumors, cancer, etc) or attack the muscles and joints causing pain, arthritis, etc.
This Halloween, go out, have fun and wear that mask. But, on all the other 364 days of the year, do yourself and your family a favor…take that mask off…both to expose who you really are, and also to see clearly what is going on around you. You have chosen this identity and physicality in this lifetime. Your whole life is a Halloween, and the next life, if you choose, pick some other identity. But, until then, stop rejecting yourself. Furthermore, stop masking your feelings, and who you really are. Additionally, don’t put a sleeping mask on, or a deer head on and pretend that what really is, isn’t. This only leads to heartache and pain for yourself and those around you and can turn into a learned behavior for your children, siblings, lovers and friends. The name of the game is not blame, it is recognition. In just recognizing this pattern, you can release it and, in time, release the stored-up, coagulated energy ball/s inside of you. Tell yourself, the truth will set me free. I choose to see the truth. I fully accept and love myself. My perma-costume is a sexy-ass costume. Now, pick up that bag, go trick or treating, and experience the sweetness that life has to offer.
